Marriage

First of all, I am thankful to be back in the blogging seat after being entirely to sick to even lift my fingertips to type! I am thankful for NyQuil and Antibiotics and cough syrup with a touch of codeine!  And I am most thankful for having a nearly cough free day today!

But that's not the subject of this Thankful post.  Today I am thankful for the amazing marriage my parents had that I have been able to use as a model for what I want my marriage to be.

Yesterday, November 14th, was their anniversary.  And it was the first anniversary they have spent apart, but Mom did make an appearance!

We ordered a pizza and spent the evening with Daddy watching old home movies.   My beautiful Mom was smiling and young and healthy, probably very much like she looks right now in Heaven.  Daddy did very well, although his eyes tend to leak when he sees his bride.  He has always adored her!  

It got closer to bedtime and we were saying our goodbyes on the front lawn.  The air was chilly, the skies were clear and stars were amazingly bright.  

Daddy, Jim, the boys and I were all staring at the Big Dipper, discussing the how north the North Star really was when all of the sudden a huge, unmistakable, brilliant shooting star soared across the sky.. right where we were all looking.  

And so that was how Mom wished Daddy a Happy Anniversary!

I wrote the following after Mom's first cancer battle.   It is a wonderful picture of the marriage I witnessed growing up and for that, I will be forever thankful!

The Dance

They were teenagers in the 50’s, the decade of sock hops and dance marathons. They married and started their family in the 60’s, the decade of dancing to the beat of your own drum. They have probably danced hundreds of thousands of dances together, but it was one dance that caught my heart. It was one dance that showed me what love was.

I don’t remember mom and dad being terribly demonstrative when I was growing up. I take that back, Daddy was. I remember vividly the whoosh of his recliner as it returned to its upright position. I remember him displaying his most exaggerated pucker lips as he left his chair and crawled on his hands and knees to where my mom was napping on the couch. He would smooch the air, until she woke up, took one look at him, and playfully demanded that he leave her alone. He was comically flirty, she fittingly coy. And this was their dance.

` They knew each other so well, they could anticipate each other’s steps. Mom instinctively knew just how Daddy would lead, and she would follow. They danced through life, having children, watching them grow and giving them up to new dance partners. Grandchildren came and with them came even more dancing - Goofy grandparent dancing. Their music was the joys of life. Sometimes the beat was slow and steady… sometimes a bit frantic and overwhelming but they always danced with grace no matter what life’s soundtrack brought.

To tell the truth I never really caught on that their life, their love was a dance. It wasn’t until a new more sinister beat began to echo. My dad heard it first. The doctor told him it was prostate cancer that had spread to the bone. The pain was unimaginable, and it stilled him for a bit. Mom put all her energy into taking care of him and it worked. He was soon crawling across the floor to the couch where she lay resting; blowing exaggerated kisses until she woke up and the dancing began again.

But just like a bad song on the radio, the sinister music hadn’t played out. And this time my mom was caught up in the beat. Multiple Myeloma brought more unimaginable pain. And it was then that I began to understand the dance.

Mom was truly in so much pain that she could hardly breathe, let alone move, but she had to move. As she stood up, pain hit her body so hard she couldn’t go anymore. She stood there weeping, unable to take another step and unable to sit back down. Daddy wrapped his arms around her. I thought he was simply going to help her get moving again, but he just stood there holding her. And after a few minutes, I realized he wasn’t just holding her… he was swaying with her. She relaxed and followed his lead. For several minutes they danced to some sweet melody that only they could hear. He had danced this dance before.. He knew the pain. And he was taking the lead now, holding her tight and not allowing death to cut in. He knew there was more dancing to be done and he was not willing to give up his dance partner.

I cherish the memory of this moment, and I thank God that I got to witness it. It was true love and true romance and true fight, this love that dances no matter the music.